Why loners often connect with others deeply and make good friends?

It might sound weird and most people won’t even notice it but loners often make really good friends. By loners I mean the people who like to be alone by choice, not the druggy ones or EMOs who stay alone all the time for negative reasons. The loners by choice should not be confused with the loners whose negative lifestyle has resulted in much pathology declaring them unfit for social interaction.

Jonathan Cheek, a renowned psychologist at the Wellesley College has referred to this group as ‘enforced loners’. It’s not a good scene in their life as they are prone to loneliness and the stress responses which accompany it.

Loners by choice have a different perspective of life altogether. They also possess certain characteristics which make them a better fit for deeper conversations than other type of people let’s say the party lovers or the rich and spoiled kids.

They don’t feel the need for peer affiliation and acceptance.

These types of people care little about such petty things. You will never see them getting all emotional about the number of friends they have on Facebook or about how many followers they have on twitter and how many of their retweeted something which was tweeted by them. It won’t be entirely surprising if they tell that they don’t even have Facebook or Twitter accounts.

The lack of concern they have for this virtual world makes them save lot of time and energy. They don’t feel the need for affirmation and care little about the pointless judgement and opinion of others. This allows them to see the world in a different point of view, their view.

Every loner has the need to find friends who resonate with them.

Loners aren’t some weird friendless freaks who think they can survive alone. Even they want friends and at times of need, even they can be extroverts and form a good social circle within no time.
One more friendship principle of such people is that they rarely make fake friends; they won’t go around placing ‘bestie’ tags on everyone. Instead they prefer to spend time with the limited friends with whom they believe can develop an everlasting friendship bond. They always prefer friends with whom they can share their inner thoughts and ideas as they prefer intellectual people.

They have a small but trustworthy circle.

As already mentioned above, loners cannot fake friendships, they’d rather hurt the other one by telling the truth but they cannot lie to them about being good friends if they aren’t. Finding a group of friends who is deep and intellectual can be quite difficult sometimes.

This is why there is a deep bond that forms when a loner befriends other people who like to be alone. The loyalty factor in such friendships is really strong and developed instantly.

They can always enjoy each other’s company but at the same time don’t feel too attached on too dependent on one another.

These folks often find comfort in solitude.

Loners often find comfort in detaching from the world and experiencing life from their own perspective. Being alone is their jam and their minds and bodies are actually stimulated when they are alone. Meaning this is a loner’s version of a true extrovert’s night at the club.  

Even the extrovert loners find comfort in detaching from social groups sometimes as they know it is better that way. They feel free and less stressful when they are alone and feel that they can use this time for indulging in something creative or learn something